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I started this blog in 2012 to affirm that being Pro-Life is being Pro-Woman and against violence; to explore how abortion hurts us and how we can heal.

I’ve said it repeatedly: it’s not our place to judge what pushes a woman to have an abortion. It’s not our place to judge her degree of culpability. What we can do is to offer compassion and mercy, lend a friendly ear and a helping hand but not a judging heart.

Donald Trump’s interview where he agreed that women should be punished if abortion was made illegal didn’t bring any new, morally superior insight to the table (he later retracted the statement but the damage is done).

Friends… Please don’t waste your time speculating what kind of judgement would be appropriate for a post-abortive woman based on the Bible or whatever. Those discussions are sterile and they may alienate women who have had abortions and women in a crisis pregnancy.

There is no victor in an abortion. A child dies and a mother is wounded for the rest of her life, whether she acknowledges it or not.

Looking back, when I timidly said in a Bible Study group in 2007 “I can’t forgive myself for my abortions“; I wasn’t told that women like me deserve to be in jail or the death penalty. I was met with love from people who were genuinely trying to help me.

What would have happened if I had been met with contempt? I guess I would have ran out of the church and away from Christians. Perhaps I would have given up on God again, just like when I was a child and I decided that God doesn’t exist because there is too much suffering in the world. I would have slammed that door to healing and peace and I would have continued to suffer in silence.

Make no mistake. When people speculate about punishing women for illegal abortion, what most women hear is: “I had an abortion so they are talking about me“.

Ironically, we don’t need others to pronounce a judgment on us in order to feel punished. Living with our abortions is our personal judgement. That darkness of the heart that no light can pierce… That invisible weight on our chest that nothing can lift. Never feeling at peace… That’s the price we pay.

Now I have healed and I’m able to talk about abortion and to remember with less pain. My job is to listen, to help but never condemn or speculate on how much guilt my sisters have. In Jesus’ own words: “Go and sin no more. Neither do I condemn you.” (John 8:11)