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DSCN1223I’m often debating abortion on social media. With the 43rd anniversary of Roe v. Wade, I read such things as: “Doctors need to know how to evacuate a fetus. It’s critical health care. Together for abortion.” or “Fetal tissue is just tissue; a woman is a human being.” Those statements need to be corrected but my mind has been on something else: I’m 9 weeks pregnant and I’m losing my baby.

Still, I’m sick of the lies. I’ve been wanting to write about miscarriage vs abortion for a while.

Twenty two years ago, a doctor told me: “The abortion pill causes a miscarriage, no big deal.” If you have ever tried to conceive and have miscarried, you should be offended. I was a teenager then, I knew nothing about life. Rationalization is not healthy but how else can women accept to have their own children killed?

Two decades have passed and I’ve learned a few lessons. For example: you can’t cause a miscarriage; it happens naturally but we make abortion happen. We choose it, we pay for it. Somebody carries it out. Then you live the rest of your life with the psychological consequences.

I had two abortions (worst decisions of my life) and this is my second miscarriage.  It should be obvious but… No, I didn’t choose to miscarry. I didn’t make it happen. I didn’t pay to get progesterone-blocking and labor-inducing pills. I didn’t pay a health care professional to forcibly open my cervix and tear my child apart. My child is slipping away from me and it’s beyond my control.

Doctors are so confusing…

Most of the time, when we miscarry they put “spontaneous abortion” (and not miscarriage) on our charts because that’s what they call it.

There are women who had incomplete miscarriages (aka the medical term “missed abortion”); that required a D&C who think they had an elective abortion. They think that if the Roe v. Wade decision is overturned, doctors wouldn’t be able to treat incomplete miscarriages. They are pro-choice based on a misunderstanding.

So, let’s clarify: in the event of an incomplete miscarriage, drugs and surgical tools might be used if your body is not evacuating everything it’s supposed to evacuate. Those are the same drugs and tools used in elective abortion BUT in the case of an incomplete miscarriage, it has been established that (through no fault of your own), the child is already dead. In the case of elective abortion, everything is done to make the child die. Huge difference.

Now, I will say no more; I will debate no more for a while. My child is gone and the world is making too much noise.