Cyndi Lauper’s song “The Goonies R good enough” (from the movie The Goonies) goes like this: “What’s good enough for you is good enough for me“.
Many people who identify as pro-choice say: “I would never have an abortion myself but should a woman need one, I support her right to choose abortion.” It sounds like they know that there is something bad about abortion but while it is not good enough for them, abortion must be good enough for somebody else.
I’m pregnant and some pro-choicers recently commented on my Facebook page: “aren’t you glad you have a choice?” They don’t know my abortion history, they don’t know why I write this blog and that I was on “their side” most of my life. But they want to remind me that I have the”option” to destroy my child and I should be thankful for it. (For the record, I’m with child, not with choice).
Pro-choicers who don’t want to have abortions are usually in stable relationships. They know the joy of carrying a child and in pro-choice jargon, they have “wanted” children. They sometimes acknowledge that abortion is a terrible thing. Perhaps they have a family member who was hurt by an abortion. These are not people who claim: “it’s not a baby until it’s born” but they speak in abstract body-choice-rights-privacy terms on behalf of unknown women.
Who is that hypothetical woman who might “need” an abortion? Does she have a face, does she have a name, does she have a voice? Do you, pro-choicer, imagine her in an unstable relationship, perhaps an abusive one? Is she a College student confused about her future?
You probably don’t want to hear it, but I was that woman. You might not like my story because I’m pro-life now. Yet, I was that woman who thought she needed an abortion.
The truth is, abortion doesn’t fix unstable relationships, it doesn’t get you out of abusive ones. Abortion didn’t help me to graduate, nineteen years later, I don’t have a College degree. But it is traumatizing and it never goes away.
I can certainly understand that abortion is not good enough for you but why would it be good for somebody else? If you don’t choose it for yourself because you know deep down that it is devastating, be assured that it is also devastating for other women.
Why not start to support life-affirming options for women, something that would be good enough for you and good enough for me?