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In her defense of second trimester abortion (June 20, 2013 New York Times), Judy Nicastro professes her “creed”: “I BELIEVE that parenthood starts before conception, at the moment you decide you want a child, and are ready and able to create a safe and loving home for her or him.”

This statement could be a quote from one of Margaret Sanger’s books. I strongly disagree with the fact that people should be “wanted” instead of being welcomed. Not all people are conceived in ideal conditions, at the right time, in the right place. Does it mean that some of us including scientists, artists, athletes and elected officials shouldn’t have the right to live? Nothing prepares you for parenthood and even “unplanned” children can be a blessing and change the world.

The creed goes on: “I support abortion rights, but I reject the false distinction between the terms “pro-choice” and “pro-life. Here’s why.”

People are free to proclaim their faith in the pro-abortion movement but why not own it? Pro-life= a new life to celebrate; pro-choice= a life is destroyed. Pro-choice can’t be the same as pro-life.

[Note: it is interesting to read this story in light of Suzanne Fields’s piece (Washington Times, February 10, 1994) about the difficulty of being an abortion apologist.]

Back to her story: “The thought of losing one child was unbearable.”(…) “We desperately wanted this child and would do whatever we could to save him, if his hernia was fixable and he could have a good quality of life.”

As a mother of three (and currently 21 weeks pregnant), I do understand her pain. And as a pro-lifer, I respect human beings at all stages of life, regardless of their abilities, health issues and whatever quality of life standards some elites have defined.

The surgeon described interventions that would give our son the best chance of surviving birth. But the pediatrician could tell that we were looking for candid guidance. He cautioned that medical ethics constrained what he could say, then added, “Termination is a reasonable option, and a reasonable option that I can support.” The surgeon and nurse nodded in agreement.

Of course, what the parents need is compassion and reassurance that everything will be fine. Prenatal partners for life.org and Alexandras house.com support parents who choose to carry to term babies with lethal anomalies. They are able to meet and hold their children for as long as their precious life lasts and say goodbye to them, which brings closure. But abortion? How does a violent death insures that a patient and her child will be OK physically and emotionally?

I asked if we could postpone the abortion until the third trimester, by which time my daughter would have been almost fully developed; my doctor pointed out that abortions after 24 weeks were illegal.”

This is true for the state of Washington where the author lives but third trimester abortions are performed in other states for any reason.

The next day, at a clinic near my home, I felt my son’s budding life end as a doctor inserted a needle through my belly into his tiny heart. She had trouble finding it because of its abnormal position. As horrible as that moment was – it will live with me forever – I am grateful. “

Rushing an abortion decision is common; it prevents women from thinking too much and possibly change their mind. Ms. Nicastro is pro-choice and she needed emotional support, under those circumstances she perceived the option to abort as “compassionate” and proceeded without delay as advised by the doctors.

But why do those who are supposed to “do no harm” advocate the killing of a child as a reasonable option? What motivates doctors to push abortion on (supposedly) disabled babies? Eugenics, money? What master do they serve?

I wish I could tell Ms. Nicastro that the memory of her son’s abortion will soon go away but she already knows that it will haunt her forever. She mentions the injection in the heart but she doesn’t tell us about the following 24 hours; the agony of going through labor to deliver a dead child (though she mentions the fear of killing her daughter in the process). Is that what we want for women? Is that the best we have to offer?

“We made sure our son was not born only to suffer. He died in a warm and loving place, inside me.”

All aborted babies die in the warmness of their mother’s womb, except in cases of botched late-term abortions (as seen recently in Kermit Gosnell’s trial). According to this Wikipedia entry about feticide, digoxin is injected in the heart to ensure that the child won’t be born alive. I’m sure that Ms. Nicastro was attached to her son but it is hard to see mercy or love in this cruel procedure.

My little boy partially dissolved into me, and I like to think his soul is in his sister. “

The spiritual dimension of abortion is often discounted by the pro-choice side but my hope is that Ms. Nicastro knows that help is available if she ever feels the need to talk about her son’s death. Lumina offers a recovery program for those who have aborted due to an adverse diagnosis.

I too was once defending the indefensible, the elimination of my own children. I never knew peace until I saw my abortions for what they are: violent, hurting, unnecessary. While it certainly is a lucrative business, there is no “need” for abortion. No woman should have to go through this and with their wounded heart, defend it as if it were good and empowering. Since abortion is so horrible (in her own words), why not offer women something better?